Sitting by the Table

Um... hi! Welcome to my humble evil lair. Don't mind the cobwebs and deadly bottles of poison. Come, sit down at my table. Let us have a chat, a friendly... bite. A glass of wine perhaps? Come on, share you tales my friend.

I must say this evil lair seems better than the last... but maybe that just cause I have my glasses now... /:

Ah, of course! I nuked the last evil lair, couldn't be bothered to kill them rats. And with you turning evil and all, after getting the hammer.. things got out of hand. So I murdered The Joker and stole his! He has recently got a new coat of blood on the walls, so it looks rather nice.

Anyway, come, sit down. What would you like to eat?

Is there any blood pudding? If not I will just have a cup of OJ ^_^ Nothing like some OJ to brighten ones evil day... But I lost the hammer... So I replaced it with a new one!



Isnt it shiney?

Um, don't swing that hammer to close to me!

No blood pudding, but maybe you'd like baby flesh pie?

I'm going to bleed all over everyone

this is my fetish

'kay dawgs

Oh yes that would be just lovely! And hello welcome... if your highly contagious disease comes near me I will kill it with my hammer...

Here, new comer. Take this gas helmet. Now then, baby flesh pie for you. I'll have some Mario head. It comes fresh from one of my many mario clones in the attic! So then, are exactly is everyone here? I'm a vampire, myself.

Oh why thank you. And I am Insanity... nothing more than figments of the imagination put together on some nice sour dough bread and lightly toasted. I make an excellent side at a thanksgiving meal!

God knows we don't need any more insanity in this world. We're all insane! Everyone of us. ALL OF US! Even that innocent- well not the innocent. All the innocent is sane. But everyone lose their innocences at some point. And when they do... BAM! Insane. Thoughts of lust, murder, greed, jealousy, all those sorts of things.

Being a vampire just enhances it. God knows I am jealous of your blood... Can I have some?

Good point, good point... and no you most certainly may not have any! It's mine! All mine! I'm saving it for a rainy day! I don't want to share!

Greetings. I'm afraid this lair has come under a new management. You may pack up your equipment at your desk and have until tomorrow to vacate the premises by threat of death.

Oh Nos! Can I takes my new hammer?! Pwease!!!

(OOC: I'm going to do a slightly different way of writing. Let me know if you want me to revert to the old way. Basically I won't be using ** for my actions, but just let you know when I'm speaking with quotation marks)

"Now just wait a darn moment, Insanity! We don't even know who this new comer is!"

I rise from my seat, and walk slowly to Suzen.

"So then... who might you be? Come on, have a seat and you can tell me all about this 'new management.'"

I lean over to NewGirl and whisper under my breath, "Your hammer is just besides your chair. Go, take a seat. Keep the hammer close but hidden."

I am a representative of Evil Incorporated™, and I am here to inform you that your secret evil lair has been bought out by the board of directors of our cooperation. I am afraid I must inform you that all properties that cannot be accounted for legally inside this building are now considered the private property of Evil Incorporated™ and its respected owners. This base shall be emptied and put to use as a General Evil Hideout and Base of Operations. All staff members are fired and will be replaced by Evil Incorporated™ representatives.

-Sits down keeping hammer close but hidden. Glares to new person mumbling about hammer.- "Well I don't want to leave!" -crosses arms stubornly.-

I give a whole hearty fake chuckle, but I cannot seem to keep my legs from trembling.

"Go back then. Go back and deliver a message to your boss. Tell him... tell him to think very carefully about what he is trying to do... who he is messing with. You have no idea what I am capable of! For starters, I am a vampire. So the only real way to kill me is by driving a stake into my heart, while I am sleeping. Ugh! I am such an idiot. Ignore what I just said... I don't want anyone to actually attempt that. Ugh, too late now isn't it? Well, I sleep during the day anyway! Good luck trying to stay awake long enough to kill me! Uh... everyone DOES sleep during the day right?"

"Besides! I have a secret weapon! AND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO USE IT AGAINST ALL THAT STAND IN MY WAY MAWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! Its so powerful that the only way to destroy it is to say its password. "Self destruct please!" Mawhahahahah... oh crap."

I am afraid that I must inform you that resistance is now to be considered futile. This entire base of operations has been taken over by new management. We have sent several messengers that have given you the possibility to protest against this takeover. You have not made use of any of these opportunities and therefore all other protests are now void by contract. You no longer have the authorisation to initiate a self-destruct sequence either, and I must sadly inform you that this has been indefinitely delayed, until a change in management has been completed. Thank you for your cooperation.

*pelvic thrust*

I am a ugly doosh

*Wanders out of a dark doorway, looking rumpled and haggard*

I...I don't think there is a way out...

*Collapses into a chair*

EXACTLY! No way out! You'll never leave, Suzen, once you come in... you don't come out. Your boss will have to assume we did not get the message and therefore no action can be taken. MAWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

Hehehhe, welcome caps, welcome to an eternity of sitting by the table.

Actually, there is an exit now. We had it installed last week.

*points at the gaping pit of fire and doom in the middle of the room*

I'd like to remind you that, as former employees, you are entitled to a single trial day at one of our many installments, in case you should be interested in further employment.

Hey, I think there's something wrong with your exit...

THERE'S NO PRIZE

I NEED A PRIZE MAN

HOO HAH

FUCK

Well... I for one have no problem with a fire pit of doom for an exit... but only if SUZEN goes first... *crosses arms stubornly, still holding to hammer*

Bah. Where's the kitchen? I'll make sandwiches.

*Sits up and looks around*